Crackling Fireplace Ugly Christmas Sweater

We still periodically refer to the industrial revolution as having been the most significant push towards the future in our recent history. Sure, we shouldn’t discount that. Heck, machines and cars suddenly bursting onto the scene certainly changed the entire path of human destiny. It opened the doors to common citizens traveling great distances in a fraction of the time and allowed for accomplishments that were only dreamed of in the most crazed of science fiction tales and started to pave the way for even greater ones down the road. But… we’ve moved beyond those accomplishments. Now we live in the age of information: a computer revolution has taken place that formed a world of potential that has given us access to what the middle ages would have called witchcraft… access to every bit of information ever recorded and almost all of it at the tips of our fingers or brought to being simply by calling out the name Siri or Google. Our accomplishments have made us virtual gods.

So, we’re using that power in the most creative and needful way possible and this allows us to offer you this Crackling Fireplace Sweater. Combining the flawless skills of past craftwork and modern technology, you can now wear this red and white acrylic knit sweater that includes a torso pocket to place within your smartphone. Through use of the Digital Dudz app, you can bring out the full power of our godly machinations to create a virtual fireplace that wavers and warms the hearts of those you hold dear within the very knitted fireplace upon your sweater. This is your legacy. Wield your power. Be a living hearth. Or you could play cat videos!